Monday, November 30, 2015

Day 4 of 49

Thanks to my sister for loaning me her weights


I like the idea of blogging each day.

It's Day 4 and I don't feel like I've made any headway. But the truth is, I really HAVE. There's a steep learning curve and I need to invest in myself so I have a strong foundation on which to build.

I did the 10 beginner exercises. It's almost comical, he recommends the first week simply doing 1 rep the first day, 2 reps the second day and 3 reps the third day. I can do that!!! I did one of each and now I can say I did my workout! It won't ever be as easy and quick as today!

It is also giving me a benchmark for my weights so I know where to start. It's going to take a couple weeks to figure this out. My body transformation may not be outstanding after 49 days, but I'll keep going! Next step is a new tracking sheet.

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Day 3 of 49

Frosty and 21ish this morning


Day 3.

Trying to get ready for my first workout on Monday.

I'm doing the 10 exercises in the book "Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle".

I've also ordered "The Body Fat Solution", which is Burn the Fat in a bit of a condensed version, focused more on the casual bodybuilder. BFFM is "the bible of bodybuilding" so the BFS might be a good fit for me. Need to carve out some time to read it.

Put BFS audiobook on the iPod for John to listen to during his commute. We both need to work on getting clear about our goals.

Need to work out dinners. I do pretty fine, but dinners are the wild card.

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Day 2 of 49

49 Days ends on January 14th


Day 2.

I think I'll use my blog to document my progress.

I really need to SEE these next 49 days, so I whipped up a calendar (my favorite thing to do)!

I need to be eating under my calorie limit (1450), which is nothing new to me. Since I've gained about 5 pounds during the "get-the-house-ready-pack-and-move" season, I've lost some ground. But I know what to do!

I need to harness this new revelation about what I REALLY look like and how that's affecting my health. The super weird thing about this new focus, is that I'm not crazy-over-the-top-excited, like I tend to be when I do something new. I feel a little..."flat".

I've decided that's okay. I'm going to put one foot in front of the other and see what new habits I can establish. I'm going to be firm, but gentle with myself as I do some new things.

Friday, November 27, 2015

Day 1 of 49

No one is going to see the before pictures!!!


OK, so we're signed up. John is doing it with me. This is Day 1.

We took before pictures.

I'm stunned. Shocked. It's like I'm really seeing myself for the first time. I didn't realize just how obese I really am.

THIS is motivating in a whole new way. I'm telling myself the truth. I need to process my goals and redo them.

I know we're going to lose a good week trying to figure out how to start and what to be doing, but better that than never!

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

49 Days

Sun is setting, love the sky

I'm considering Tom Venuto's 49 Day Holiday Challenge and have decided to go ahead and do it. I can't seem to get my head around it, so when my friend Marilyn encouraged me that "once I make a commitment, I'll have more clarity", I decided to go for it.

WHAT AM I DOING!?!?

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Change in the Wind

Front of our new house

We've been through a lot waiting for our new house. We found it in January, made our offer in March and finally closed mid-September. We spent a month painting the entire interior of the new house, driving round-trip every single day at least once. We moved mid-October and I'm trying to start my life anew. It's been quite the saga, but that's not what I want to talk about today.

I am bored with what I'm doing and need to switch it up. I need to find exercise I really LOVE so that I'll do it for the rest of my life. It needs to be something that isn't just one dimensional. I'm experiencing a mindshift regarding my journey.

Even though I still am weighing myself, I'm really bored of posting Sunday Weigh Ins, so I'm going to put them on hold for now.

As we are getting settled, I feel like I have a (one) brain cell to explore new options. Some time ago, my friend Christi said the best thing I could do was in Tom Venuto's ebook. I purchased the "Burn the Fat" audiobook and I've checked it out from the library. I love his ideology. Stay tuned.

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Ramp Up

Trail by river

I've been feeling lately that I need to ramp up my efforts. My friend Barbie was recently telling me about her weight loss successes and it got me excited. She's been doing "Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle", a book I purchased back in February 2014!

I remember thinking I wanted quick weight loss and wasn't interested investing time to completely learn a new program, but now I'm willing to try it. I don't feel that I'm making the changes I need to make for long term success and I'm definitely not burning up my fat! I loved my weight lifting class in high school and think it's time to pick up those weights!

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Dinner Starts the Day

Counting yesterday's dinner as the first meal of today

OK, last night I had my Beef Taco Salad, but I put it on for the first meal today. Oddly, this is really helping me!

Michelle's BEEF TACO SALAD:
216 Cooked Costco Organic Beef/Hamburger 100g
117 Low Fat Refried Beans 75g
225 Cool Ranch Doritos 42g
  11 Butter Bliss Lettuce 60g
  60 Full Fat Sour Cream 30g
  20 Reser's Restaurant Salsa 40g
649 calories





Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Meatloaf Moment

Best ever meatloaf recipe!

Alright, this has to stop. I ate a second dinner tonight!

I do really well when I plan my day ahead and I had decided for more tacos for dinner, skipping the high calorie meatloaf. I ate my tacos at about 6pm, but my husband was late getting home. The kids weren't hungry, so the meatloaf just sat there and cooled. No problem.

I bought Trader Joe's frozen mashed potatoes for the first time for the ease of it.

About 8pm, everyone was ready for dinner. Except me, I had already enjoyed my spicy, crunchy tacos. It was time to serve up the plates.

I was very curious about the mashies...and then the struggle (which I lost!) began.

This all happened in a millisecond...I think my thoughts jumped from "I can get through this" to "what do those taste like" to "I better find out so I know whether or not to buy them again" to "this tastes pretty good". A taste is all it took and I gave in to my desire to eat the meatloaf AND potatoes.

I would have actually been ok if I had one slice and a portion of mashies, if I had just put it on a plate and weighed it, I could have enjoyed it. But I did the "one little bite" over and over and over, lying to myself the whole time.

I probably easily ate an additional 600 calories.

This is so not the end of the world, but I was really excited to press into 194 this week and I'm totally excited about 189!

I want to STOP sabotaging my efforts!

This got my thinking.

1-do not let this be an excuse to eat MORE potatoes tonight, it's going to be okay.
2-do not give in to the temptation to not weigh on the scale in the morning
3-it could have been a lot worse
4-move forward with my breakfast tomorrow, everyday is a chance to start anew, leaving the past behind

I do really quite fine all day. Then, about after 5pm, I really, really struggle with the delicious freshly made food I make for my family! I need to figure this out.

My brain seems to turn off. I succumb to the idea that I don't care about losing weight, I just WANT IT!

So...

I eat my oatmeal at 9amish. It is very satisfying and nutritious.

I eat my daily salad somewhere between noon and 1pm usually. It is also very satisfying and nutritious.

About 3ish I'm ready for a snack. Right now that's some bean soup.

Then around 5:30 I'm really ready for a meal. The way I have things now, I've about 700 calories remaining for dinner. That's a huge meal! What if I ate that for breakfast instead? I could eat my salad for dinner and my oatmeal for lunch? Just a thought. I wonder how that would go?

I've also been thinking about starting my day with last night's dinner so I would be ending my calories with my 3pm snack. That would be very interesting to try. It would put some pressure on staying within my limit for dinner, because that meal would carry over to the next day.

I'm going to adjust MyFitnessPal to have my dinners carryover and see how I like it. This is the grand experiment and my experimentation has brought me here. I have to remind myself that I'm doing well. I've lost over 30 pounds in 18 months. That's a really big deal for me. I'm not comparing myself to anyone else. I know I'll keep it off because it's been about real, sustainable change.

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Sunday Weigh In #67

Sunday, August 9, 2015-197.4


I'm excited for Day 4 today. I'm already practicing delay as I want to eat, but going to wait until after noon for my salad. Love that it is ready and waiting for me.

Friday, August 7, 2015

Day 2

Four Tacos=688 calories

For Friday, my schedule was different, but I was easily able to eat my chili first and my salad later in the day. Tacos weren't the best today. There needs to be a new tacomaker on Fridays!

Weight this morning: 197.5
Calories: 1428


Thursday, August 6, 2015

Eat the Same Menu for Four Days Day 1

It's 10 minutes to my local Jack in the Box

I'm going to try an experiment. I am loving Jack in the Box tacos right now. It's so funny to me how I get in food ruts and I'm in a happy one!

For Thursday through Sunday, I'm going to eat the exact same menu. It's what I WANT to eat, so why not? It will also take any decisions out of the mix. I wonder what will happen?

Proposed four day menu:
bfast: steel cut oats with almond milk, dried blueberries, pecans and cream (333)
lunch: my daily salad (272)
3pm snack: half Taco Time white chicken chili (150)
dinner: 4 Jack in the Box tacos (688)

I really look forward to the taco dinner all day so we'll see what happens.

Weight this morning: 199.4

UPDATE:
Thursday calories: 1428 I did it! Very delicious and satisfying day!

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Sunday Weigh In #66

Sunday, August 2, 2015-198.5

I've been bouncing around 198 this week and that's not going to work for me. I'm taking the next step for under 195s. I can do it!

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Sunday Weigh In #65


Sunday, July 26, 2015-196.0

Wow, I've lost 34 pounds! I'll take it! Since I've focused on lifestyle change, I know I'll never go back to the way I used to eat!

Saturday, July 25, 2015

I Can Eat That

The latest...fried zucchini!

I go through spurts with blogging. I LOVE my blog. I love that it reminds me where I've been and helps keep me focused. That's why I started it way back in January of 2012. I think I tend to write more when things are going well. Things are going well. :)

I had a good week of struggling to get back under 1450. Failing provides me information and then my next step is always trying to solve the fail. Failing is simply more information to help me grow.

I'm really happy with my breakfast and lunch, but currently I fall apart around 3pm through dinner. This is the fail I need to work on right now.

I'm always surprised when my process takes a new direction. Right now, I'm getting bored with my bagged chipotle salad and spicy turkey chili. I'm still loving my breakfast (steel-cut oats) and lunch (my daily salad), I'm not connecting with anything delicious for the 3pm snack or dinner.

What to do?

So today I'm looking for some new (or old) ideas and also found a way to keep track of previous meals that I loved. Eating more beans is always a good idea, so I might bring back the crazy delicious Chicken Tender Taco Salad. I always love eating THAT!

I've been enjoying telling myself "I can eat that". My philosophy is I can eat whatever I want, I just need to stay within the confines of my calorie limit. I had Doritos for dinner the other night, they were delicious. I must admit, that was my first Doritos dinner and it might be my last. But I was glad that I can eat those!

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Eating Now: Daily Salad

My Daily Salad July 2015

When I first started eating a salad every day, I spent a lot of time experimenting. My daily salad has been the same for years, but I tweak it every now and then. Right now it's only 275 calories. I've tried to make it bigger, but it's too much. Sometimes I eat a chicken tender with it.

What's out:
-hard boiled egg

What's in:
-goldfish crackers (10g) and cottage cheese

This photo was taken before I started adding the crackers and cheese this spring. YUM!

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Sunday Weigh In #64

Sunday, July 19, 2015-197.8

I have been taking my Sunday Weigh In photos all year (except I forgot last Sunday's!) but haven't been posting them.

I'm trying to simplify my life and I have a conundrum. My iPhone doesn't capture the digital scale at all. Sometimes, if I use the flash, it works, but most often, it is just a bright purple screen and doesn't display the numbers. That means in order to post a photo of the scale, I have to use my other camera and download from the stick. This is just too cumbersome as the latch is broken and I have to remove the electrical tape which holds it closed.  I've been doing this for quite sometime, but now that I have the phone, I see how inefficient the other way is when I just want the quick pic.

So I think I'm going to make it simple and make my own graphic for weigh-ins from now on.

I don't know how I'm going to like it.

It's ugly, but it works for now.

Friday, July 17, 2015

Losing Coach Online

My hydrangea when it was starting out this year.

Something really good happened.

Last May, I attended at workshop in California for Losing Coach. Of the nine principles the Lord gave me, I consider Losing Coach, the 10th principle for my weight loss journey. I have been implementing it since I returned home last May.

I haven't talked much about it because you really have to experience the workshop for yourself. The closest workshops over the past year have been in Ohio. That's a bit of a drive. :)

Well, Losing Coach is now online!

Last May when I attended, I weighed 217 and today I weigh just under 200ish. So I've lost about 20 pounds in a year. That sounds like such a small number and such a big long time. But I must remind myself, YES, I've lost 20 pounds (really, really slowly), but lost it is!

I feel like now that they are online, I can share more about it because I have a place to refer anyone who asks me about my weight loss. It has helped me tremendously, no, it has made all the difference!

I'm really looking forward to reviewing all the material I forgot over the past year!

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Eating Now: Breakfast

No cook steel-cut oats for breakfast!

I've decided I want to keep a record of my favorite meals. I didn't realize that I go through cycles where I find something wonderful, eat it and then get tired of it. I'd like to come back to some of that deliciousness, so welcome some new posts..."What I'm Eating Now:".

This meal was inspired by Dr Fuhrman in either his cookbook or The End of Diabetes. When I read that he soaks steel-cut oats in liquid (no cook!) and stores in the refrigerator, my heart sparked "that's something that would be easy to do everyday"! So I tried it. Here's what I do:

NO-COOK STEEL-CUT OATMEAL BREAKFAST:
-glass dish with lid
-40g uncooked steel-cut oats
-100g unsweetened almond milk

I make a few of these at a time (twice a week) and store in the frig. Every morning, I pop the lid and put in the microwave for 60 seconds. When it's warm, I toss it on the scale and add:
-5g dried blueberries (Trader Joe's)
-7g chopped pecans (Trader Joe's)
-30g heavy whipping cream

This is fantastically EASY, I look forward to it and it's deliciously satisfying. I love the chewiness of the oats and the sweetness of the berries, the crunch of the pecans and the creaminess of the cream. What a great meal for me!

Previous variations:
dried cherries + walnuts
fresh blueberries + walnuts
fresh raspberries + walnuts

Monday, July 13, 2015

Tune the Temple Christian Weight Loss ECourse

These lilies are done now, but they were stunning!

I finally finished the online course from Tune the Temple! I don't remember if I've blogged about it, but Cathy offers an online course on intentional/intuitive eating.

I would highly recommend this Christian weight loss course to anyone wanting to overcome emotional eating and receive encouragement in their journey! Cathy has been so very caring and I'm grateful for what I've learned!

She has a wonderful weight loss method related to natural boundaries of hungry and full to help people lose weight. It is where I plan to end up, eating intuitively, but for now, I'm getting good results with counting calories.

Thank you Cathy for all you've done for me!

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

MPM-My Pizza Moment

Exhibit A. Pizza slices with the crusts cut off. Guilty.

See Exhibit A. Crustless pizza. That's right. I prefer the crusts. Saves on calories (eye roll).

I really am having trouble.

But I realize that with obstacles come solutions. This is actually GOOD.

I need to figure some stuff out, so I'm going to process right here on my blog because that is what it's for: the good, the bad and the ugly.

Yesterday:
-In the morning, I documented in MFP what I was going to eat for the day (but I didn't fill it out for the complete 1449, I had 200 or so calories unaccounted for)
-I was invited to a birthday lunch (I always get the same thing that I love which is about 700 calories, my day could still be ok with a light something for dinner)
-I even passed on dessert, no warm melty chocolate chip cookie, nor ice cream and I WAS FINE, not even a shadow of temptation
-When I came home, I was hungry. I picked up pizza on the way home for my family like we do every Monday.
-I was hungry and particularly tempted by the smell of the pizza (I think the smell is often better than the taste!)
-I ate my salad for dinner which was waiting for me. With my usual breakfast oatmeal, the chicken lettuce wraps and my daily salad, my calories would have been right in the ball park.

BUT

I gave in to the pizza. I had a "pizza moment".

WHAT HAPPENED!? I passed on seriously tasty restaurant dessert earlier in the day only to pig out on pizza crusts AFTER dinner!?!?!?

I really need to dig a little deeper. What happened indeed.

When I break it down, all that really happened is I gave into temptation. I told myself a lie "it doesn't really matter, I'll start again tomorrow, I have to "live", this is going to take so long to lose the weight"...oops, that's several lies!

After talking with my coach today, she reminded me that I am under a false assumption that I'm on a "diet". A diet implies there's a start and end. And that I won't have to do this for the rest of my life. YES, Michelle, the.rest.of.my.life. I'm going to have to be alert at the minimum. I think I have a "right" to not have to quantify calories or hunger or fullness. I think I can actually "be free" without constraints (oh dear, I know where THAT leads me!)

Reality check, Self. I tend toward impulsive behaviors. I tend to be licentious as a bent and food is always going to pose the potential for me to exercise my weakness for any kind of excess! The truth is this: This weight loss journey isn't ever going to end for me. I am embracing this truth right now. This is a long term process and there's no "closed for the season". I'm in this for the long haul.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Refocus

Peony surprise!
I did really well from April 11th through May 22nd. Then I got really sick and that bumped my life around. I've spent June trying to find where I left off.

The good news is I'm okay with that, it's just part of life, part of my process. The bad news is I was down to 193 and now back at 199. I'm really looking forward to getting back to that good feeling, I felt fantastic at 193. And to think there's so much good feelings in my future as I eventually break 180, 170, 160, 150, 140, 130 and into the 120s. I have a lot to look forward to.

My goal for tomorrow is to eat my new menu.

I love my daily salad, but it's only 225 calories...why not make two or better yet-MAKE A BIGGER ONE! And Costco has come back with their quinoa salad, why not just plan on having that for dinner this week?! I feel refocused and ready for my day tomorrow!

Tea with milk and sugar

bfast: Steel-cut oatmeal soaked in almond milk overnight, blueberries, cream and pecans

Big salad for lunch

Big quinoa salad for dinner

2 lollipops for snacks :) I'll be interested to see how eating bigger meals fewer times a day works for me since I've been doing smaller meals more times a day for awhile. Always experimenting!

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Daily Meal Planning

Photography class assignment-Moss
I almost have 30 days under my belt of eating with surrender under my 1450 limit. Something that is really making a difference in helping me stay under my calorie limit (pretty easily) is planning my day BEFORE my day begins. It takes all my "but I want that" out of the equation. I've also noticed I have not had ANY crazy cravings...I find that extremely interesting.

In the morning, while eating my oatmeal, cherries, walnuts dressed in heavy whipping cream (DELICIOUS!), I bring up MFP and log my meals BEFORE I eat them. I am so fortunate to be a SAHM, so most days I really can plan ahead.

I've also been allowing myself little treats, or as my friend Marilyn calls them, "mini indulgences". I'm partial right now to MINI York Peppermint Patties.  They are 15 calories each and are so tasty to complete a meal. I often save one for the end of my day. It helps me!


Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Empowered by Conviction of Conscience

Last week in my backyard, my apple trees in full bloom!
I'm stunned. Today's scale was 200.8. I'm doing it. So why was it nearly impossible a few weeks ago and now I'm disciplining myself!? I've received conviction and I'm repenting of my old ways. I truly want to limit myself in many areas, but the Lord also has me surrendering my weight loss process at the same time.

I guess I can only say how grateful I am to my friends who were willing to tell me the truth about my excesses in life which precipitated a breakthrough to surrendering my whole life. At least wanting to be in the process of surrender and the Lord has met me there to help me.

The good Lord is empowering me with the metaphor about the wild horse. I want to not waste one opportunity.

I really have a nice system and it goes like this:
-wake
-make husband's breakfast & lunch, prepare my salad(s)
-eat my oats (don't horses eat oats, too!?!?) at the computer and then:
          -enter today's scale in MyFitnessPal
          -hit "complete" for previous day MyFitnessPal entry         
          -plan out my day's meals so I have my final calorie count before the day begins
          -fill in my info on my pen & paper sheet
          -walk

A note about MFP and planning my day. It's really quite simple to track with MFP, ESPECIALLY when I'm planning my day ahead! I have a life where I am at home a lot, so this works out fine for me...for now. I know this isn't where I want to land, I really see myself eating intuitively at some point, but it's okay to use these methods as I start my journey.  I used to believe a lie that if I wasn't doing something sustainable (like intuitive eating), it would never work and I shouldn't bother because it was too hard. But I can see now I had the wrong thinking.

It is APPROPRIATE to do these "unsustainable" things for a SEASON of training. How else am I going to grow, if I don't allow for this intense training period. What if it lasts a year? Or longer? Or shorter? The point is, this is actually WHAT I NEED and I've been circumventing entering into this period of surrender. THAT is what I've been afraid of...surrender. Not fear of the unknown, but fear of letting go of my own ideas, plans and ways.

It is good to be corralled! I have an immense sense of peace! The Lord has been guiding me day-by-day and I have no expectations for what I used to perceive as my "rights" about what I can eat. I submit to the process of training and surrender every day and it is really reaping good fruit!

So my days have looked like this:
-plan out what I'm going to eat (oats, my salad, my quinoa salad, a bag of salad for dinner with possibly a few peppermints for treats) I'm totally satisfied with this right now. I want things that are countable so I'm staying away for now for things that I'd have to guess on (the best I can). Each day brings something new, so it's good that I have to evaluate how that factors in. Today is an oats, salad, salad, salad day. I LOVE these foods and can't wait to eat them. If I decide I'd rather have a half sandwich or beans with cheese, I can totally swap out the bag of salad and enjoy something different. I eat what I love (in moderation)!

Monday, April 20, 2015

My Daily Salad 2015

As of Jan 2015, this is my daily salad
I've wanted to do an updated post (and a FAQ) on my Daily Salad, so here I go. It's been three years since I started eating one salad per day and I'm amazed at my process of getting here! I'm so glad I blogged my first salads because it reminds me that the process was real, which means that if I can do it, anyone can do it! Most of my initial salad posts are HERE.

I am happy to say I no longer suffer from allergies! I realized a couple months after starting my salad per day, that I didn't have the runny nose, sneezing nor scratchy eyes and stuffed up head that I once did! What a wonderful surprise benefit of eating a salad per day! I'm allergy-medication-free and loving it!

Back in May of 2012 the Lord led to me "Eat One Salad Per Day". It was a matter of sheer obedience and I got to work solving the problem of making a salad I could choke down that didn't consist of mounds of ranch dressing and Goldfish crackers! Inventory control was challenging at first, but I've got a great system now and I never have to think twice about it.

One thing I'm really happy about is using the digital food scale. Knowing my exact amounts gave me a lot of confidence in tweaking for flavor and nutrition. I've got it down to a "science" now and I love the flavors so much, I really don't want to eat any other salad anymore! Another thing about the scale, is that it insures that I have the same flavors every time. I like that. The proportions are always the same. I don't get to my plate and feel disappointed because there's too much red pepper or dressing just because that day I took a bigger handful or splashed a little too much dressing. It standardizes my meal so I know what I'm getting each time. That is so geeky, but I love it!

Salads are tricky because the ingredients are hyper-perishable. I'm sure there are many ways to do this, but here's how it works for me.

Here's my current Daily Salad recipe:
60g bagged butter lettuce
15g bagged organic spinach
23g red pepper (Trader Joe's organic if I can get it)
10g organic red onion
40g organic celery
40g organic cucumber
3-4 organic snap peas
56g 4% cottage cheese
8g sunflower seeds (I do prefer the roasted & salted, so I indulge)
5g reduced sugar Craisins
40g Newman's Own Lite Balsamic salad dressing
(225 calories, 13g fat, 27g carb, 6g fiber, 12g protein)

-I grocery shop once a week. I have a "salad box" for my salad makings in the frig. Everything goes in the box. When it's time to make my salad every morning, I pull out the box. I put my mixing bowl on the scale and start tossing in the veggies.

-I chop up two red peppers every other week and store them in a glass container. I chop a red onion in half, keep one half in a glass container and chop the other half, storing the pieces on top of the uncut half. I probably buy one red onion a month? Every week, I wash the celery and cut the stalks in half and store in a glass container. The remaining stalks I store in aluminum foil. A large celery lasts two weeks this way. Every week, I wash my cucumber and store the whole cuke in a plastic bag. I chop off a 1" slice every morning (it's already washed, so it's fast)! I put the celery, cucumber and snap peas on a plate and slice them up at once every day. Really easy.

-I buy bagged lettuce. I'm sure I could save a lot of money (maybe) if I just washed my own lettuce, but when I started, eating a salad seemed really hard. I had to do things to make it easier to get things going. When I tried to do the washing lettuce thing, I found that I'd put it off a day or two and then I didn't have it ready. Back then, I just wasn't willing to discipline myself!

-I have a beginning framework for my favorite salad, which I eat everyday. It goes "RED, RED, GREEN, GREEN". That's red onion, red pepper, lettuce, spinach. I put the bowl on the scale and weigh the ingredients as I toss them in.

-Now that my framework is in the bowl, I do my plate. "3 GREEN". That's celery, snap peas and cucumber. I don't weigh these. I usually do a slim organic stalk of celery, 3-4 snap peas depending on size and about a 1" slice of organic cuke. I tested it the other day, weighing my slice of cuke...yep, it was 41 grams and I've counted 40 grams in my salad recipe. And who cares if I get an extra ounce of cucumber anyways!? That's really not a bad thing. I've never overeaten on cucumber! French fries, yes, but not worried about the cucumber!

-I like room temperature salad, so I make it first thing in the morning, so when I'm ready to eat it (sometimes for breakfast, sometimes for lunch), it's  not cold anymore. It's simply delicious and just writing about it makes me want to eat it now!

-Salads are such a great opportunity to eat some BEANS! I used to LOVE garbanzo beans in my salad, but they just don't stimulate my taste buds like they used to, so I don't add them. Another food I used to LOVE in my salad was a hard-boiled egg. Eh, now I don't bother. Maybe someday I'll go back to it, but for now, I don't eat 'em. When I did, I would boil 7 eggs, peel them and store them in a little water in a glass container or plastic baggie. They would go on the plate for chopping with the celery, snap peas and cuke, but no more.

-I indulge in Costco's Quinoa Salad from their deli, which I'm sure I could make at home, but the convenience and freshness of theirs makes it irrestistable to pick up a container each Monday when I shop. This is such a succulent, power-packed-with-flavor food!  I'll have this salad for an afternoon snack on most days:

100g Costco quinoa salad
60g bagged butter lettuce
15g bagged organic spinach
7g sunflower seeds (I do prefer the roasted & salted, so I indulge)
5g reduced sugar Craisins
35g Newman's Own Lite Balsamic salad dressing
(250 calories, 14g fat, 27g carb, 7g fiber, 8g protein)

-I'm totally into the bagged salad kits at my local Fred Meyer grocery store. Some are more calorie dense, so watch out, but eating a bag for dinner is just awesome! Sooo filling, lots of chewing required (there's usually fresh kale in these chopped salad bags) and very satisfying! When we are going to be gone all day, like on a weekend hike, I toss a bag in the cooler with my empty mixing bowl and a fork for a fantastic and filling meal.

-I NEVER (ever) guessed that I would enjoy the very same meal day after day after day, but I really do! 90% of the time, I do eat it out of obligation. Though I love it, my tendency is to seek out foods high in sugar, fat and salt! Having my salad prepared in the morning to be ready for my lunchtime hunger pangs, helps me make sure I actually EAT my salad per day! It has been a really good thing for my food lusty heart, to have the salad ready and waiting. IT IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO ENTER THE KITCHEN WHEN IT'S MEALTIME AND I'M HUNGRY AND GO THROUGH THE STEPS TO MAKE A SALAD! DO you hear me on that!? I recently discovered the mason jar salad craze and I fully support it! What a brilliant idea! Having that salad ready to go is a big help!

-I used to really enjoy some chicken breast on my salad. I thought I needed more protein and ate it on my salad every day. In the past year, I've realized I prefer my chicken separate! So sometimes it's on the side, sometimes I eat two chicken tenders for breakfast. Recently, I haven't been into chicken breast, but some sliced turkey I use on my family's sandwiches. I like that I can go with my cravings and not be afraid of the winds of change!

I think it's pretty weird that I can write this much about salad! But it goes to show me, that over three years, I've really become my own personal salad expert!

Friday, April 17, 2015

Weight Loss Mindset

license purchased from istock
I've looked back on some of my entries and can see how each little revelation builds on the previous ones...I think that's called growth!

My mindset right now:
-surrender (horse metaphor)
-horsey diet (under 1450) because in starter training-strict
-planning meals in morning on MFP, I know what's expected, helping me wait/delay
-power exercise from Losing Coach

I'm so grateful for this new mindset of surrender!

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Surrender

This morning's sun!

As 2014 ended, I didn't reset a new goal. I didn't know how to continue my blog since I really had planned to lose 100lbs last year, so I just stopped blogging.

The Lord has been doing so much inside me recently. It's hard to capture it all, but one thing I want to document here is that I no longer hate myself. In January, I started dreaming about gardening and owning a house again and this triggered some strong emotions in me. Over a couple months, I couldn't stop crying all.the.time. Looking back, I can see how the Lord brought me up out of my self-loathing. During that time, I discovered a book on low self-esteem and I look forward to going through it.

I had given up on blogging my weight loss journey. I knew I wasn't being serious. I was bumping along, slowly gaining back the weight, not being able to confine myself to any decent caloric limit. I decided to hire a weight loss coach and I'm going through Tune the Temple, too. I've been reading all sorts of weight loss books, searching for the inspiration I need. I had not found what I was looking for...until now.

Whoah.

Last week, my friend Marilyn (who is more of my mentor) was talking to me about my fear of the unknown, of the future. She mentioned that it had everything to do with surrender. Wow, a total shift happened in that moment. I started asking the Lord about it and how it related to my need for freedom. Long story short, He has brought me to a deeper place of surrender like never before.

The past five days have been awesome as I've limited myself. That's my whole big thing, limiting myself, surrendering myself instead of always pressing the boundaries and all the while thinking I am in freedom.

1421
1427
1445
1440
1440

Those are my numbers for the past few days. WOW. I didn't think it was even possible for me to do that again. It's been completely different and totally hard, but not totally agonizing. I've felt yucky everyday and I don't like the hungry feeling I feel in the late afternoon as I wait for dinner. I know there is some intensity to come, for now I'm clinging to the visual He gave me about corralling the wild horse. Maybe I'll post that testimony at some point.

For now, I want to document this important step in my journey. I'm full of hope for the near future and am eager to see how it works out.

(mindset notes: surrendered horse, planned each day before it happened, I knew what to eat each day, this isn't sustainable, but it certainly is appropriate for this season, will not cross the line He gave me of 1449 because I am surrendered, no longer do I want my own ways, freedom comes through surrender)

(meal notes: cherry walnut oats, my salad/2nd quinoa salad, dinner which has been...bag salad because I want to, any available calories, I put in a meat or candy)

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Push the Reset Button

Beautiful clouds!

I've been bouncing around for months. I realized that I haven't been blogging much and that has always helped me in the past. So instead of going back and trying to fill in the past few months (which I plan to do sometime soon), I'm going to just write.

Yesterday I just ate. I didn't binge, but I grazed through my day and I don't want to do that ever again, it's just yucky. I feel plumpy this morning. Ick.

The scale says 207.2.

THAT needs to be remedied RIGHT NOW!

I walked 3 miles and drank 3 bottles of water. A great start to the day.

In December, I experimented with intentional eating...I need more structure right now, but eventually, that's where I want to end up. I did a pretty good job maintaining within a few pounds, so that is really encouraging for long term maintenance. But I'm not there yet.

I really like the spreadsheet I'm currently using to track myself. My goal is to get down to 202 by Sunday and then have a permanent breakthrough to Onederland.

I don't want to be in this process forever, I can see how I've been bumping along, all the while THINKING that I'm trying to lose weight, but not making the full effort. When is this going to STOP? When am I going to get serious? What is it going to take?


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