Empowered by Conviction of Conscience

Last week in my backyard, my apple trees in full bloom!

I'm stunned. Today's scale was 200.8. I'm doing it. So why was it nearly impossible a few weeks ago and now I'm disciplining myself!? I've received conviction and I'm repenting of my old ways. I truly want to limit myself in many areas, but the Lord also has me surrendering my weight loss process at the same time.

I guess I can only say how grateful I am to my friends who were willing to tell me the truth about my excesses in life which precipitated a breakthrough to surrendering my whole life. At least wanting to be in the process of surrender and the Lord has met me there to help me.

The good Lord is empowering me with the metaphor about the wild horse. I want to not waste one opportunity.

I really have a nice system and it goes like this:
-wake
-make husband's breakfast & lunch, prepare my salad(s)
-eat my oats (don't horses eat oats, too!?!?) at the computer and then:
          -enter today's scale in MyFitnessPal
          -hit "complete" for previous day MyFitnessPal entry         
          -plan out my day's meals so I have my final calorie count before the day begins
          -fill in my info on my pen & paper sheet
          -walk

A note about MFP and planning my day. It's really quite simple to track with MFP, ESPECIALLY when I'm planning my day ahead! I have a life where I am at home a lot, so this works out fine for me...for now. I know this isn't where I want to land, I really see myself eating intuitively at some point, but it's okay to use these methods as I start my journey.  I used to believe a lie that if I wasn't doing something sustainable (like intuitive eating), it would never work and I shouldn't bother because it was too hard. But I can see now I had the wrong thinking.

It is APPROPRIATE to do these "unsustainable" things for a SEASON of training. How else am I going to grow, if I don't allow for this intense training period. What if it lasts a year? Or longer? Or shorter? The point is, this is actually WHAT I NEED and I've been circumventing entering into this period of surrender. THAT is what I've been afraid of...surrender. Not fear of the unknown, but fear of letting go of my own ideas, plans and ways.

It is good to be corralled! I have an immense sense of peace! The Lord has been guiding me day-by-day and I have no expectations for what I used to perceive as my "rights" about what I can eat. I submit to the process of training and surrender every day and it is really reaping good fruit!

So my days have looked like this:
-plan out what I'm going to eat (oats, my salad, my quinoa salad, a bag of salad for dinner with possibly a few peppermints for treats) I'm totally satisfied with this right now. I want things that are countable so I'm staying away for now for things that I'd have to guess on (the best I can). Each day brings something new, so it's good that I have to evaluate how that factors in. Today is an oats, salad, salad, salad day. I LOVE these foods and can't wait to eat them. If I decide I'd rather have a half sandwich or beans with cheese, I can totally swap out the bag of salad and enjoy something different. I eat what I love (in moderation)!