A New Day

I haven't been up early enough for a sunrise in a looooong time!

The past week (or more) I've felt quite dejected. I've gained a few pounds (big surprise there)! I have lost my motivated mindset and can't seem to get it back...which means I need a NEW one! I don't like to blog during these down times, I tend to prefer to blog after I've had a breakthrough. But I also think it helps me to see my true journey by including these down times. I know I can't give up, I must keep going. This isn't a diet, it's real life and I have to figure out how to do real life and not diet. I just said that twice.

I rattled off a bunch of excuses to my husband who didn't buy any of it. I think that helped me! Thanks Honey!

Today I had a breakthrough, I think. I reviewed in my mind my main motivation for wanting to lose weight. I never want to be on insulin or any diabetes medication. I'm trying to reverse insulin resistance. I wrote it down in my journal to remind me. I've lost 25+ pounds and my shoes even fit better and I LIKE IT! I got thinking about what it actually takes to lose weight...allowing myself to be hungry, staying under my calorie limit, actually counting ALL the calories each day, etc. There really isn't another mechanism for surgery-free weight loss, it's about creating a calorie deficit and keeping my "personal glycemic index" in check.

I had the idea to time block the day like this:
•6am-9am 350 calories
•9am-noon 350 calories
•noon-3pm 350 calories
•3pm-6pm 350 calories and "kitchen closed" at 6pm (or after our family dinner).

For some reason, this visual really helped me today! I'll call it "calorie pacing"...though I'm sure someone else out there already has. Nevertheless, I'm going to think about it again tomorrow. The terrific news is that today I actually have a real number of calories consumed for today!!! I counted everything-yay! That is a great step. I just haven't had the evening discipline to do that for a while.

I really like combining the pen & paper journal with MyFitnessPal. I put MFP on the back burner for awhile to see how I liked tracking just by journal, but I think I really do like MFP! I love being able to look back on my days when needed and it's so easy to keep my exercise log, too.

I wrote some truthful statements on my whiteboard:
•go back to what worked to lose 25+ pounds
•I seem to do fine from when I wake up to before dinner, so I need to really to pay more attention 5pm-10pm
•most impt part of day is 10pm  (if I go to bed early, I can get up early)

My daughter has been drinking tea which has inspired me to re-excite myself over a long ago tradition of starting the day with my day planner, a cup of hot earl grey and a tasty muffin. This morning was F A B U L O U S as I enjoyed hot tea with honey and cream and planned my day! Trader Joe's has a nice bran muffin that is moist and isn't too sweet-can't wait to start my day again tomorrow. Who said that!?

New Goal

Fall color at Gold Creek Pond Nov 8th

I set a lot of goals, but I haven't really committed to one in awhile.

So...

I have a new goal.

195 by December 31st.

Today I weighed 204ish, so that's about 9 pounds in 6 weeks. That's ambitious, but I think I'm up for it. I'm ready to be hungry. After 195, I'm setting a goal of 175 by March 1st.

I am so encouraged that my portion sizes have really shrunk! I'm so satisfied eating real food and 350 calories seems like a lot!

I binged tonight on sugar. Yuck. It feels so awful. I bought some lemon bars at Costco and I ate three in one sitting. Hey, it's not SIX, but still. I need to learn to live with this stuff around, so I'm leaving it on the counter. If I want to eat them, I can record them. Choices.

Sunday Weigh In #37 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #37 Nov 2 2014

I was expecting 205+ today. I'm so grateful for the gentle process I'm in. One day truly doesn't ruin anything. At the same time, one day on its own can't fix a bad day either. I'm thankful for the scale, it is a great tool!

Today was 202.4...not all is lost!

Journal

I'm surprised how much I actually enjoy journaling by hand!

I am really liking my journaling by hand. I NEVER thought I would stop using MFP, but now that I'm not looking so much at the macros and I know "I can eat whatever I want within my calorie limit", my focus is more just on the calories.

These struggles (which I call "events" or "incidents") arise more often that I thought. Up until now, I've really been focusing on the principles the Lord has given me. But I've jumped the track again and find myself in a new place of needing to deal with these incidents because I really see how my responses to them MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE in reaching my goals or not.

I feel fat. I sat down at my sister's and felt my huge belly sticking out. I don't like that at all. Now that I've broken through 200 (many times!), I've set my new goal at 175. Today my goal is to stay under 1500...I can eat whatever I want, as usual.

I find that I really like planning my eating ahead of time...and then most of the time, I do move things around a bit. I've also (finally) decided how I'm going to count the grilled chicken tenders. Since I use different marinades, I'm just simply going to count them all the same. 100g of grilled or fried (not extra oil) chicken tenders will count as 120 calories. DONE. Don't need to count the macros, just the calories and this simplifies it all. Weigh my portion, count the calories. Simple.

I've also simplified my daily tracking sheet. Instead of filling out an entire sheet of paper, I've made a simple grid, giving myself a "1" if I succeeded and a "0" if not. I like it a lot!

I need to understand that I'm going to feel hungry. But I also can't let myself get TOO hungry...I'm always trying to find balance here.

I'm looking forward to establishing a new pace with my eating and losing. I really like the tools I'm using right now as I've simplified. Still can't get over how much I don't miss using MFP for now. I like that I can use it to quickly bring up calorie counts, though. Grateful for MFP weight tracking, too. Love the graphs!

I did walk 36 miles inside and outside in October! YAY!

I've also started going through a weight loss Bible study and I've had a few insights! I realize that I've been using the wrong weapons to overcome the strong hold food has over me. When I joined that challenge, I thought, if I just exercise everyday and stay under my calories, I'll whiz right through to weight loss. Yes, BUT. What to do with these temptations that seem to be coming my way more than ever? In order to overcome, I need to renew my mind. Yes! More on this in the coming days.

Broken

I named this post after writing it and then I was looking for a recent photo to somehow represent "broken" and I found this photo from last week! I put a pumpkin pudding cake in the oven and my stone POPPED and broke in two! PERFECT! I feel separated from my goals, off-track and without direction. So this picture really is IT.

Here's my post:


This is a post that I need to write, but I don't want to write.

I have been gaining weight in a consistent pattern.

Why?

I joined a challenge in October on MFP to help me keep my boundaries, but I feel like it backfired. Two things happened on October 6th:
1) I failed to maintain my membership in the challenge
2) I reached my lowest weight so far at 198.3

When I fell off the challenge, I felt lost. Instead of picking up where I left off, I threw off boundaries all together. My mind didn't know what to focus on.

When I reached my lowest weight, I had not adjusted my goals. 198 was a big deal! I had been working to break through 200 for so long, I never really celebrated and acknowledged to myself I did it!

This past week has been a big struggle. I thought I was over that, I thought I had overcome...but I have not. I am so grateful for the reality check and have told the Lord how much I need Him. I can see how arrogant I've been, thinking I'm doing so well following these principles. That's over!

This week, I'm trying to stop myself from spinning out of control, trying to hold onto what I can to regain direction. I'm clinging to what I've done in the past: eating a daily salad, drinking 10+ glasses of water daily, doing the walking DVD morning and evening when it works to do so...I'm using the scale as my tool.

I can see that I'm entering into a new phase of my process. I see a great need for deeper focus dealing with emotional eating. I've been able to condition myself to new habits, but I can still get bingey (though nothing like before) and lose track of what I'm doing.

In my relational process, I cried out to the Lord when I saw the struggle begin. THAT needs to start happening. I'm actually starting to recognize the battle, that's very important. I see that I really do make excuses in my mind and give in to my fleshly appetites. I want to stop doing that and start obeying my conscience! When I see the battle begin, I need to run to the Lord!

I've decided to stop using MFP as a tracking tool. I think I "give up" putting in my calories when I think my day won't be perfect, so I've started a notebook to do it all by hand instead, which actually is working out just fine and I'm enjoying being able to journal along with my tracking. I was getting bogged down thinking I also had to track all my macros, but I don't, just calories. So I'm working on 1) tracking ALL and 2) staying under my goal. Neither are going well, so I'm considering if I need to press through or need to change my boundaries altogether. Obviously, these are the very things that matter in losing weight.

I'm looking forward to engaging in the battle this next week and running to the Lord, applying the same principles I used in my relational process of transformation. I WANT TO BE FREE from the strong hold food has on me! I know I've experienced levels of freedom, like an onion having layers that can be peeled away, but I actually want to chuck the entire onion! Forget the layers, let's just totally overcome!

Sunday Weigh In #36 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #36 Oct 26 2014

Today was 203.1

Sunday Weigh In #35 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #35 Oct 19 2014

Today was 201.6

Hope

Beautiful clouds in my backyard!

I woke up thinking this: "I can eat whatever I want when I stay under my calorie limit".

That's really powerful.

I'm going to call my diet the "Grace & Law Diet"! The grace is I can eat whatever I want! The Law part is I must stay under my calorie limit! There's a balance, once can't exist without the other. It goes along with what I've been learning this month!

I'm going to do all the things I seem to have stopped doing.

I have hope to resist overeating.

Sunday Weigh In #34 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In  #34 Oct 12 2014

Today was 199.7

Sunday Weigh In #33 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #33 Oct 5 2014

Today was 199.6

Potluck Event

I am doing the MFP challenge to track all my calories and stay under my limit every single day this month.

How am I going to get through this bridal shower potluck and actually stay under my calories?

I could plan to not eat anything there. I will eat my own food. In another season, I will be able to enjoy all the variety, things I don't usually get to eat. But just for tomorrow, while I'm in this season, I will take my own food. This is what it is going to take! Planning!

When we went on vacation in June, I abandoned my rules, with disastrous results. I had planned every single day, but then totally gave in and ate what I wanted. I just can't do that in this season.


OBEDIENCE = STAYING UNDER CALORIES! I just didn't equate the two!

(I did bring my own food and was successful at not eating food I couldn't count, it really was quite painless because I planned ahead...interesting).

Day Three of a New Me

Me in August 6th around 203ish

I'm very, very, very excited to write this post. I've had an enormous breakthrough that I think is really going to make a huge difference in my weight loss results from this point forward.

I'm only going to summarize because trying to explain everything here isn't really necessary. The Lord has orchestrated several different things to help me see where I need to repent and what's actually going on. Marilyn said to me this week that usually every stronghold has a pattern of sin attached to it and the Lord is showing me. Thank! You! Lord! I know from past experience when you show me, Lord, it is for the purpose of freeing me! Nothing exceeds your mercy toward me, Lord!

I've recently come to embrace (again) the truth that I am too easy on myself as a habitual pattern and this has shown up in my weight loss journey. I let myself off the hook too often, releasing myself from the necessary constraint of feeling hungry and staying under my calorie limits. I need to STOP letting up! I need to START allowing myself to be hungry and stay under my calorie constraint.

There's no conscience to obey in this process, because the Lord already spoke to my conscience about what I need to do at the front of this process and He doesn't need to repeat Himself! That's not to say that He isn't near, ready to lead me moment-by-moment through temptations and need for wisdom, but He is not actually correcting and instructing, He's already done that, He is waiting for me to cooperate! This physical process is the same (and different) from my relational process, but the structure is similar and the intent is reconciliation! Reconciliation in my relationships and in my physical body!

I must STAY UNDER MY CALORIE LIMIT because the mechanism for weight loss is to eat less than I need and this is also the sacrifice, denying my self. The mechanism for spiritual growth is obedience to the Lord's voice through my conscience and the sacrifice being denying my selfish ways of relating.

If I let myself off the hook by eating what I want, when I want (like I've been doing), I am actually sabotaging the exact mechanism that He's designed to set me free! When I let myself off the hook by tossing my calorie goal out the window, I am NOT COOPERATING with Him to bring about His purposes for my weight loss. When I don't allow myself to be hungry, I'm working AGAINST Him! Instead of turning my ship around, I'm just still sailing full steam ahead in the wrong direction, but the matter is actually worse, because I've deceived myself into thinking I'm actually cooperating and should therefore be enjoying good fruit of obedience! Oh, may it never be!

I'm just so grateful for the Lord showing me and bringing so many things together so I can repent! I feel like the eyes of my heart have been unblinded. I felt like I was caught in a spider web. The web itself, though very strong to hold an insect, wouldn't be hard for a human to break through. But I felt tangled and stuck in it's sticky web nonetheless. I felt like the web was cast far and wide and no matter where I turned, I couldn't get to the edge and escape its sticky grasp. I felt like the more I moved, the more entrenched I became in its hold. I felt truly STUCK. But no more! The web has lost its magnetism and I am free to get to the edge and escape.

This is going to go fast. I've always felt like the pounds should melt off me, that it shouldn't take me years to lose the 100 pounds (now just 70 pounds!) I feel like the power that was holding me back has been demolished. Thank you Jesus! I'm really looking forward to good things to come!

UPDATE 10/28/2014: This has been a huge breakthrough, but I haven't been losing weight! Something needs to be addressed!

Where Did I Leave Off?

Hiking in Skagit county with view of Mt Baker

Um. Where did September go? I finished my walking challenge only having logged 42 miles (when was the last time I walked 42 miles in 30 days, though!?) We started a family business and I've struggled to keep my focus on my weight loss journey with all the added activities required of me to get things launched.

Sunday Weigh In #32 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #32 Sep 28 2014

Today was 198.9

Sunday Weigh In #31 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #31 Sep 21 2014

Today was 200.8

Sunday Weigh In #30 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #30 Sep 14 2014

Today was 199.7

Sunday Weigh In #29 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #29 Sep 7 2014

Today was 201.1

Sunday Weigh In #28 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #28 Aug 31 2014

Today was 201.5

Finished August Walking Challenge

Our first crop of 'Honeycrisp' apples!

On My Fitness Pal, I joined the "Leslie Sansone Walk at Home" group and there's always a monthly challenge. I joined for August and I'm happy to report that I finished the month walking over 80 miles!

Five Miles

Leslie Sansone's 5 Day Slim Down DVD

I lived in harmony with those chocolate Bark Thins today. Amazing. I weighed my portions and stayed within my calorie range, but I know in reality I'm playing with fire. Sugar on fat on salt. Yum.


I didn't have a chance to walk this morning, so when I got to bedtime, I was really excited to walk. I put in a new DVD and the first mile seemed slow and boring. I wanted to ditch it, but I felt I owed it to myself to do the next mile. Not bad, so I did the next mile. By mile four, I was diggin' it! And mile five was AWESOME! I feel FANTASTIC and can't believe I did FIVE MILES tonight! Whoohooo!

Cannot even wait to wake up tomorrow morning and do this one again! Believe it or not, but since August 4th, I've walked SIXTY miles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAAAA?! This is making the most humongous difference, my body feels great and I can tell things are a shifting around! I think this is a bonafide breakthrough in the exercise department.


I've also been reading the older version of "Thin Within" by Judy Halliday and I've been believing that I'm "thin within". I like thinking that and I know it is true. I am leaving Ms Fatty behind and becoming the real me!

I Had No Idea

Your Food is Fooling You by Kessler

I've never connected with the idea of "emotional eating" and never have considered myself an emotional eater. I always thought it meant eating a tub of ice cream when feeling depressed (though I'm sure I've done that in the past!) but I don't think that's the entire picture.

In the past, I used to attack my plate, quickly gulping down my food uncontrollably for every meal as if I hadn't eaten in days. The delicious meal gripped me and I felt ravenous to consume, chew, swallow and shovel more in. It's been a long time since that was my habit of eating. I haven't really struggled too much with binge eating recently...except for the past two days.

I started asking myself...why do I do this? What happens? Why all of a sudden do I feel out of control and could eat the entire house? Why do I struggle with wanting more helpings of certain foods and with others I'm satisfied with one portion. WHY DO I NEVER want more of my yummy salad? I love my salad, it tastes soooo good, I love the crunchy sunflower seeds and the moosh of the craisins in my mouth...but I never lose control and want to eat seconds or thirds (like I do with some meals). I never dream about it all day, wanting more, More, MORE! WHY?

In the past, I've held a belief that some foods stimulate something internally (like a trigger) and this big scary monster builds up and wants to eat pounds and pounds of it. So my way to cope is to simply avoid these foods since they aren't vital to my health and nutrition requirements. For some reason, I have a very difficult time with these:

GA! These must have some kind of powerful drug in them that makes them irresistible! It would be nearly impossible for a bag to last more than 24 hours in my home (sick). I haven't had them in at least a year and don't struggle passing by them in the store anymore. They are off limits because I feel so gross after I eat them. It's really almost laughable they have a "nutrition" label. They really aren't FOOD! But now I know WHY, because this book tells me there's a very good reason I react this way to these sugary+fatty+salty crunchy triangles!

I have completely enjoyed reading this book by David A. Kessler, MD "Your Food is Fooling You" and would highly recommend it to anyone who struggles with controlling themselves around processed foods (yeah, cause who wants MORE salad!?! Do you ever really crave ANOTHER apple?!) It is the "teen" version of "The End of Overeating", which is a thick book that sat on my nightstand until the library demanded it back. But this thin paperback version is awesomely readable!

He has put words and expressions to my suspicions and I feel really empowered knowing that my hunches about some of my favorite (non)foods (especially from restaurants) are valid! I read this book to my children and we now joke about some of the products that are out there masquerading as food, but that's really not a joke! More and more I'm choosing foods that nourish my body-ME!-that's so exciting!

Sunday Weigh In #27 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #27 Aug 24 2014

WOW! Welcome to Onederland! This is pretty exciting! But I do realize that it is very likely I'll bounce around on my way down through the 190s and I expect to see 200s for awhile as I do. BUT I'm encouraging myself because this is the first peek at 199! YAY!


Today was 199.3

Walk Walk Walk Walk

I've been walking almost everyday!

Back in October, I tried Leslie Sansone's home walking videos. I stopped doing them because my hips really hurt, but I decided to try again. MFP has a Leslie Sansone group and they do monthly challenges. I decided to give it a try in July, but didn't really connect with the group.


Enter August. Why not try again? I'm sooooo glad I did! Wow, something really good is going on here! I've walked 42 (FORTY TWO!) miles since August 6th! And I'm LOVING it!

This is so easy! I walk in front of the computer...two (sometimes three) miles in the morning and then another two before bed. I love logging on the MFP group (thanks for the encouragement, ladies!) every night before bed and updating my own spreadsheet. This is a way better workout than my meandering walks outside...and I'm doing it twice a day! I think this is sustainable! I'm getting some good exercise! Finally breaking through that 204/203 and moving into the 202s! YAY!

Sunday Weigh In #26 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #26 Aug 17 2014

WOW! Lowest so far! I know it's the walking!

Today was 202.1

Take Up My Cross

Recent trip to Mount Rainier (Paradise)

I was thinking about some women who post on a Facebook group I joined. They want good fruit in their relationships, but they don't want to die to their self-centered ways.

This made me think about me...in my process of seeking better fruit in my personal relationships, I CHOSE self-death, I went after it, I found ways to invite it, I ran headlong into it, I sought it out! I took each "incident" of selfishness and examined it and turned away from my flesh and repented.

In doing so, I experienced the weakening of my flesh and the strengthening of my spirit. I could see how the battle, though it looked SO DIFFICULT, was really just a vapor. The struggle was real, but my victory was certain if I chose to die. Looking BACK over each struggle, each incident battled, I can see how I thought I was up against a thick brick wall, but in reality, it was a curtain of fog, without substance, without mass, without power. I was giving it so much power by cooperating with my own selfishness. All I had to do was shove against it...and I fell to the other side without any struggle after the initial effort of shoving (or choosing to die and repenting).

But in contrast (in my weight loss journey), I have NOT wanted to die. I've done everything possible to make things easy on myself with the least amount of effort toward giving up my own self-centered ways or dying to my own fleshly appetites, attitudes, intentions and motivations. I have allowed the Lord some measure, I've been open to His ways, but I haven't had the willingness or eagerness to SEEK self-death. It was a revelation today (probably again) that I don't really want to die with regards to this process.


But Self-Death is the Way to Life.

I want to change my mind, I want to hurl headlong into self-death...there's SO many opportunities! Each time I want to eat, but I'm not hungry is an opportunity for dying to my fleshly appetites (literally). Moving my body when I don't feel like it, drinking extra water, doing these healthy things because I know I've been convicted about them in the past...

I look forward to more LIFE as I put to death the deeds of my flesh.

The fog rolling in just a short time before the previous photo was taken.

Sunday Weigh In #25 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #25 Aug 10 2014

Up and down and all around.

Today was 203.7

Awesome New Workout Routine

This is so exciting! Today a whole new workout took shape.


Calf Stretch
Fitness Blender Easy Cardio Warm Up
Leslie Sansone Walking Down the Blood Sugar 2 Miles
HIIT Rebounder (only 3 sets 10 seconds intense/15 seconds rest) I can barely breathe!
3 minute Health Bounce
Calf Stretch


Whoohooo! I LOVE this! The inside DVD walk is a way better workout than my outside walk, though I plan to walk outside two days per week. This is so sustainable! I feel AWESOME!

HIIT Rebounder Workout

Visit to Museum of Glass 8/2014

I'm SO excited! I do actually need to DO this workout, but after I blog first!

I can't help but laugh and giggle when I do HIIT on the rebounder! It just makes me laugh because it's so...BOUNCY!

I have a few resources to get started...my online HIIT timer to use with the rebounder and there's a few YouTube videos to explore and my favorite Fitness Blender has a couple HIIT workouts that I might be able to do. The whole idea is to 1)start somewhere and 2)build on that foundation and 3)challenge myself to do more and more and more, little by little and day by day.

I wanted to have a photo of me bouncing, but that's just too difficult for today! We went to the Museum of Glass in Tacoma the other day and we LOVED this interactive room.

Now I Know What Get Strong Means

Homegrown Strawberry Backyard 08/2014

WOW! Thank you Marilyn!

The Lord told me to "GET STRONG" back in April 2012. I have not really figured out that principle yet...I thought it meant lifting weights. I understand the body will burn more fat when it has mor muscle. At my friend Christi's suggestion, I bought "Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle" by Tony Venuto. But in all the different things I've attempted in order to "get strong", I haven't really connected with anything (and I've tried a lot of things). That caused me to put "get strong" on the back burner...

until today.

Marilyn has told me in the past, that I need to do intense bursts, even when walking. I haven't really implemented that in the past when she's mentioned it. I get the idea of anaerobic activity and read about it in The Gabriel Method and I did fartlaks in high school track practice oh so many years ago. But today when she described that she only does this for seven minutes, a light bulb went on.

Since I started my new walk in July, I've been feeling like there might be something...MORE. I haven't been sure what to think about this, since walking was the very first thing the Lord told me to do. When Marilyn started talking to me about what I really NEEDED to do (strengthen my body), I really listened. I know that burning calories through exercise (not just diet) creates a caloric deficit, but I've always viewed my diet (what I eat) and exercise (what I do) as independent areas. I've never walked to lose weight, I've walked to move my body and have better health. I've never eaten back my calories burned from exercise and I don't track my calories burned from exercise. When she said I needed to strengthen my heart through intense bursts, I knew she was talking about GET STRONG!

...and strengthening my HEART has huge meaning for me! I haven't blogged about this topic on this blog, but I maintain another blog of heart photos. I find hearts everywhere! I consider them little love notes from God. It's almost hilarious how I sensed when she was talking that the Lord has been telling me "it's your HEART" through all these hearts I find (and photograph)! My husband and I had a huge hoot over it, I just couldn't see that the hearts and the HIIT was related! COOL BEANS!

I am going to do 10 seconds of intense bouncing on the rebounder/trampoline with a 20 second rest. I did five of these last night and I thought I was going to die (PERFECT!) By the 5th one, I was done as I couldn't breathe! How's THAT!? Here's the online HIIT timer I used. More blogging to come on this new found inspiration!

Next Check In August 18th

Glass Bridge/Museum of Glass 8/2014

For awhile, I've been checking in every two weeks with my friend Marilyn. The past two weeks have been good...and not so good. I did lose .3lbs in 2 weeks but the bad is that I'm not tracking my calories consistently. I seem to gain momentum in one area and then another area suffers. Maybe it is always going to be this way and I just need to keep juggling it all without expectation of mastery. I can see though how I am refining areas and that's encouraging! I'm so glad I haven't GAINED!

So for the next two week cycle, I'm going to track my calories more honestly. I don't know what's happened to my mindset about this! My goal is to fill out each and every cell in my spreadsheet, no blank ones.

I'm also going to try increasing my cardio, stay tuned for that!

Having goals certainly helps me and I really like the two week iterations between our visits. I use MyFitnessPal.com and my pen & paper notebook to keep me on track, too. My goal for 8/18 is 199. I can do it!

Sunday Weigh In #24 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #24 Aug 3 2014

I haven't updated my blog in a month (I often back publish my posts) and when I come here I get encouraged. I held back this gaining post until I've lost again. The past two weeks I've been SO OFF, not logging my calories properly, not being honest, giving up late in the day, overeating during dinner. I need a course correction!

Today was 203.9

Sunday Weigh In #23 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #23 Jul 27 2014

 

I am always astounded at how much updating this blog encourages me! Today is actually August 6th and I've been feeling lost this past week. Monday I was dejected. I've been eating more sugar than normal (which stops right NOW!) and being wishy-washy about my calorie tracking...I feel like I've lost my place, misplaced my proper mindset...what happened?

But as I update my blog today, I'm totally REMINDED about what I'm doing, how far I've come and feel empowered to KEEP GOING!

I'm surprised how indifferent I feel about breaking through 200 pounds...my goal for August 18th is 199. But to me, it's just another number. I must admit, I'm getting really close to busting through 200...maybe I'll feel different when I actually get on the other side!

OH, and I noticed that I'm HALF WAY through my 45 Sunday Weigh Ins! From 230 to 202.9 since February-yeehaw! That's 27.1 pounds, get out of town!!! Thank you Lord, I just couldn't see how well I was doing until looking at 202.9, I'm inspiring myself!!!

Today was 202.9 (yay!)

Sunday Weigh In #22 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #22 Jul 20 2014

Keep going!

Today was 203.9

Sunday Weigh In #21 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #21 Jul 13 2014

I'm feeling so awesome! Can't wait to lose more!

Today was 204.7

My New Weight Loss Support

Marilyn - May 2014

My sweet friend Marilyn offered to be my newest weight loss support coach. Here she is in my kitchen with some fresh cut flowers from May. She really has already been a huge support to me, but now I'm making it official (thanks for the nudge, Carlise!) I really benefit from having someone to track with me and I'm super excited to share this journey with her in a more detailed way. Thank you dear friend for showering me with so much love and affection!

My Pants Fell Off!

Oreo Kitty - July 2014

Oh my word, my pants fell off while walking down the hall! That's hilarious! I like the pants and they have a whimpy waistband, so I'll just stitch the sides in because there's still life in them!

Sunday Weigh In #20 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #20 Jul 6 2014

Earlier this week I saw 204.1! Yippeee!

Today was 205.2

New Summer Walk

New Neighborhood Walk July 2014

Hydrangea July 2014

Mount Rainier July 2014

I'm remembering that one of the benefits of walking is that as I increase my exercise, I increase the efficiency of my glycemic systems. I really have been too easy on myself...ten pools loops is only 1/4 mile and I do that quite often. I've been noticing that I've been feeling a little off, possibly feeling higher waking blood sugars...soooooooo it's time to revisit the topic of walking.

In doing a little reconnaissance, I found a new neighborhood. I went Friday morning and I can't believe how much I LOVE IT! I've decided to wear my little backpack which helps me deal with taking my driver's license and camera. Today I listened to one of the "Love's Actions" audios and have another cued up for tomorrow.

One of the reasons I stopped driving to my walk, was that it was getting dark in the morning and I didn't like being stuck in traffic near the high school. This new neighborhood is in the other direction and has AMAZING views of The Mountain! So for the summer months, it's a go.

I'm SO excited about this! I just decided to accept the fact that maybe driving to a walk is okay and I so I don't have to get up super early, I considered just going on the weekends, which helped me return to the idea.

Today I walked 1.3 miles EASY with an uphill climb part of the way! WOW! I felt GREAT today! And I even walked in the heat (75°+)! What a completely different experience being about 25 pounds lighter!

In order to fit this all in with my daily routine (because I WANT to do it daily, it's so awesome), I will have to get up early. Oh boy. So Monday morning, we'll see how I do!

Mid-Year Evaluation

Wow, I'm losing weight. I really am EATING LESS, it is fantastic! But as I've been focusing on one thing, another thing often suffers, so I want to check in with my areas of growth and look back and see how I'm doing with the principles the Lord has given me. I want to write a Kindle book (eventually) about my process and weight loss. Thinking about that possibility.

-Morning Walk:
When I wake up, if it is wet outside, I do the treadmill, if it is dry, I walk loops around the pool. But I'm starting to feel like I need to walk MORE and I'm thinking about driving to a nearby neighborhood again.  Thinking about doing my regular thing, but adding a drive to a neighborhood for the weekend when I don't have to get up early. I'm not walking enough and I need to get better in this area.
-Eat More Fiber:
I haven't eaten the high fiber cereal in a while and I don't miss it at all. I'm usually short on fiber, but some days are over. I feel like for right now, this area is okay.
-Drink More Water:
I consistently drink a minimum of 10 glasses (80oz) per day and often more. I feel like I have complete mastery in this area with the system I'm using-yahoo!
-Stop Eating Refined Sugar:
I do all I can to avoid refined sugar. I am so grateful for Theo 85% dark chocolate bars! They have protein and fiber and low sugar! I eat them everyday! I don't crave sugar like I used to and I pretty much save my sugar for special occasions. I can always improve on this area by not eating any sugar at special occasions, but for the daily grind, I eat and prefer Theo 85% and don't bother with other stuff.  Actually, the other day I REALLY wanted some sweet milk chocolate, so I ate some Theo 45%, and it hit the spot. Very unusual. Amazing that I can do that and not get tangled in cravings, thank you Lord!
-Count Calories: Wow, I just had no idea what a great tool My Fitness Pal would turn out to be. I need the constraints of the numbers and it is working! Since I eat a lot of the same foods day after day, it is SUPER simple!
-Get up Earlier/To Bed: This month I'm going to work on being in bed at 10:30pm and getting up at 6:30am, I would love to stick to this!
-Get Strong:
hmmmmm
-Eat One Salad a Day: Wow, I've come a long way in this area. I eat my salad EVERY SINGLE DAY now, because I eat it for breakfast and love it! I feel like I have total mastery in this area, for now.
-Eat Half of Dinner:
I've been learning to eat smaller portions, but for awhile, I've been having a 2nd salad for dinner and loving it!
-Release from Walk if Dance: I really should consider dancing again, I like that!

Sunday Weigh In #19 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #19 Jun 29 2014

I can't find the photo for today!

Today was 205.6

My Losing Coach

I have fallen in love with my coach, Dana, and she has been a special blessing in my life. I am so sad to no longer be meeting with her after today. I'm so grateful for the Losing Coach workshop as well as the opportunity to participate with application coaching online. It just isn't going to work out for me to continue right now.

I'm still looking for personal coaching where I can check in every few weeks and my husband has a free plan through his work that provides a coach for several different areas. I think I'll give it a try!

Family Vacation

I really enjoy vacationing with my extended family. Especially my four year old nephew! We stayed on 12 acres outside of town this year. It just so happens, the home was near a hike I've had on my bucket list for a few years! Thick with mosquitos, we did the hike and the destination was beautiful!

I decided for the four days of vacation, I wouldn't track myself. I did fine, though I know I ate more than 1300 calories per day! I didn't enjoy my "freedom" as much as I thought I would and was eager to get back to my real freedom of constraining myself and tracking. SO AMAZING that I actually like the constraints! I'm finally really experiencing the truth that discipline = freedom!

Sunday Weigh In #18 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #18 Jun 22 2014

This Sunday morning I was on vacation. I didn't weigh-in. I love the freedom I have and look forward to see what next Sunday's scale reads!

Sunday Weigh In #17 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #17 Jun 15 2014

Here's Sunday's number! I totally forgot to take a photo, so here's my handy dandy graph.

Today was 206.8

Sunday Weigh In #16 of 45 in 2014

Sunday Weigh In #16 Jun 8 2014

Wow-total breakthrough to get under 208! One of the numbers I remember from weighing at the doctor some years ago is 208. My next goal is 203, but I'm really eager to get (and stay) under 200!

Today was 207.9

Weight Loss Graph

This is awesome! I've been weighing every morning. If I put my number into My Fitness Pal, it will maintain records for me! I can make all sorts of fun graphs! Love this!