Journal

I'm surprised how much I actually enjoy journaling by hand!

I am really liking my journaling by hand. I NEVER thought I would stop using MFP, but now that I'm not looking so much at the macros and I know "I can eat whatever I want within my calorie limit", my focus is more just on the calories.

These struggles (which I call "events" or "incidents") arise more often that I thought. Up until now, I've really been focusing on the principles the Lord has given me. But I've jumped the track again and find myself in a new place of needing to deal with these incidents because I really see how my responses to them MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE in reaching my goals or not.

I feel fat. I sat down at my sister's and felt my huge belly sticking out. I don't like that at all. Now that I've broken through 200 (many times!), I've set my new goal at 175. Today my goal is to stay under 1500...I can eat whatever I want, as usual.

I find that I really like planning my eating ahead of time...and then most of the time, I do move things around a bit. I've also (finally) decided how I'm going to count the grilled chicken tenders. Since I use different marinades, I'm just simply going to count them all the same. 100g of grilled or fried (not extra oil) chicken tenders will count as 120 calories. DONE. Don't need to count the macros, just the calories and this simplifies it all. Weigh my portion, count the calories. Simple.

I've also simplified my daily tracking sheet. Instead of filling out an entire sheet of paper, I've made a simple grid, giving myself a "1" if I succeeded and a "0" if not. I like it a lot!

I need to understand that I'm going to feel hungry. But I also can't let myself get TOO hungry...I'm always trying to find balance here.

I'm looking forward to establishing a new pace with my eating and losing. I really like the tools I'm using right now as I've simplified. Still can't get over how much I don't miss using MFP for now. I like that I can use it to quickly bring up calorie counts, though. Grateful for MFP weight tracking, too. Love the graphs!

I did walk 36 miles inside and outside in October! YAY!

I've also started going through a weight loss Bible study and I've had a few insights! I realize that I've been using the wrong weapons to overcome the strong hold food has over me. When I joined that challenge, I thought, if I just exercise everyday and stay under my calories, I'll whiz right through to weight loss. Yes, BUT. What to do with these temptations that seem to be coming my way more than ever? In order to overcome, I need to renew my mind. Yes! More on this in the coming days.