Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Empowered by Conviction of Conscience

Last week in my backyard, my apple trees in full bloom!
I'm stunned. Today's scale was 200.8. I'm doing it. So why was it nearly impossible a few weeks ago and now I'm disciplining myself!? I've received conviction and I'm repenting of my old ways. I truly want to limit myself in many areas, but the Lord also has me surrendering my weight loss process at the same time.

I guess I can only say how grateful I am to my friends who were willing to tell me the truth about my excesses in life which precipitated a breakthrough to surrendering my whole life. At least wanting to be in the process of surrender and the Lord has met me there to help me.

The good Lord is empowering me with the metaphor about the wild horse. I want to not waste one opportunity.

I really have a nice system and it goes like this:
-wake
-make husband's breakfast & lunch, prepare my salad(s)
-eat my oats (don't horses eat oats, too!?!?) at the computer and then:
          -enter today's scale in MyFitnessPal
          -hit "complete" for previous day MyFitnessPal entry         
          -plan out my day's meals so I have my final calorie count before the day begins
          -fill in my info on my pen & paper sheet
          -walk

A note about MFP and planning my day. It's really quite simple to track with MFP, ESPECIALLY when I'm planning my day ahead! I have a life where I am at home a lot, so this works out fine for me...for now. I know this isn't where I want to land, I really see myself eating intuitively at some point, but it's okay to use these methods as I start my journey.  I used to believe a lie that if I wasn't doing something sustainable (like intuitive eating), it would never work and I shouldn't bother because it was too hard. But I can see now I had the wrong thinking.

It is APPROPRIATE to do these "unsustainable" things for a SEASON of training. How else am I going to grow, if I don't allow for this intense training period. What if it lasts a year? Or longer? Or shorter? The point is, this is actually WHAT I NEED and I've been circumventing entering into this period of surrender. THAT is what I've been afraid of...surrender. Not fear of the unknown, but fear of letting go of my own ideas, plans and ways.

It is good to be corralled! I have an immense sense of peace! The Lord has been guiding me day-by-day and I have no expectations for what I used to perceive as my "rights" about what I can eat. I submit to the process of training and surrender every day and it is really reaping good fruit!

So my days have looked like this:
-plan out what I'm going to eat (oats, my salad, my quinoa salad, a bag of salad for dinner with possibly a few peppermints for treats) I'm totally satisfied with this right now. I want things that are countable so I'm staying away for now for things that I'd have to guess on (the best I can). Each day brings something new, so it's good that I have to evaluate how that factors in. Today is an oats, salad, salad, salad day. I LOVE these foods and can't wait to eat them. If I decide I'd rather have a half sandwich or beans with cheese, I can totally swap out the bag of salad and enjoy something different. I eat what I love (in moderation)!

Monday, April 20, 2015

My Daily Salad 2015

As of Jan 2015, this is my daily salad
I've wanted to do an updated post (and a FAQ) on my Daily Salad, so here I go. It's been three years since I started eating one salad per day and I'm amazed at my process of getting here! I'm so glad I blogged my first salads because it reminds me that the process was real, which means that if I can do it, anyone can do it! Most of my initial salad posts are HERE.

I am happy to say I no longer suffer from allergies! I realized a couple months after starting my salad per day, that I didn't have the runny nose, sneezing nor scratchy eyes and stuffed up head that I once did! What a wonderful surprise benefit of eating a salad per day! I'm allergy-medication-free and loving it!

Back in May of 2012 the Lord led to me "Eat One Salad Per Day". It was a matter of sheer obedience and I got to work solving the problem of making a salad I could choke down that didn't consist of mounds of ranch dressing and Goldfish crackers! Inventory control was challenging at first, but I've got a great system now and I never have to think twice about it.

One thing I'm really happy about is using the digital food scale. Knowing my exact amounts gave me a lot of confidence in tweaking for flavor and nutrition. I've got it down to a "science" now and I love the flavors so much, I really don't want to eat any other salad anymore! Another thing about the scale, is that it insures that I have the same flavors every time. I like that. The proportions are always the same. I don't get to my plate and feel disappointed because there's too much red pepper or dressing just because that day I took a bigger handful or splashed a little too much dressing. It standardizes my meal so I know what I'm getting each time. That is so geeky, but I love it!

Salads are tricky because the ingredients are hyper-perishable. I'm sure there are many ways to do this, but here's how it works for me.

Here's my current Daily Salad recipe:
60g bagged butter lettuce
15g bagged organic spinach
23g red pepper (Trader Joe's organic if I can get it)
10g organic red onion
40g organic celery
40g organic cucumber
3-4 organic snap peas
56g 4% cottage cheese
8g sunflower seeds (I do prefer the roasted & salted, so I indulge)
5g reduced sugar Craisins
40g Newman's Own Lite Balsamic salad dressing
(225 calories, 13g fat, 27g carb, 6g fiber, 12g protein)

-I grocery shop once a week. I have a "salad box" for my salad makings in the frig. Everything goes in the box. When it's time to make my salad every morning, I pull out the box. I put my mixing bowl on the scale and start tossing in the veggies.

-I chop up two red peppers every other week and store them in a glass container. I chop a red onion in half, keep one half in a glass container and chop the other half, storing the pieces on top of the uncut half. I probably buy one red onion a month? Every week, I wash the celery and cut the stalks in half and store in a glass container. The remaining stalks I store in aluminum foil. A large celery lasts two weeks this way. Every week, I wash my cucumber and store the whole cuke in a plastic bag. I chop off a 1" slice every morning (it's already washed, so it's fast)! I put the celery, cucumber and snap peas on a plate and slice them up at once every day. Really easy.

-I buy bagged lettuce. I'm sure I could save a lot of money (maybe) if I just washed my own lettuce, but when I started, eating a salad seemed really hard. I had to do things to make it easier to get things going. When I tried to do the washing lettuce thing, I found that I'd put it off a day or two and then I didn't have it ready. Back then, I just wasn't willing to discipline myself!

-I have a beginning framework for my favorite salad, which I eat everyday. It goes "RED, RED, GREEN, GREEN". That's red onion, red pepper, lettuce, spinach. I put the bowl on the scale and weigh the ingredients as I toss them in.

-Now that my framework is in the bowl, I do my plate. "3 GREEN". That's celery, snap peas and cucumber. I don't weigh these. I usually do a slim organic stalk of celery, 3-4 snap peas depending on size and about a 1" slice of organic cuke. I tested it the other day, weighing my slice of cuke...yep, it was 41 grams and I've counted 40 grams in my salad recipe. And who cares if I get an extra ounce of cucumber anyways!? That's really not a bad thing. I've never overeaten on cucumber! French fries, yes, but not worried about the cucumber!

-I like room temperature salad, so I make it first thing in the morning, so when I'm ready to eat it (sometimes for breakfast, sometimes for lunch), it's  not cold anymore. It's simply delicious and just writing about it makes me want to eat it now!

-Salads are such a great opportunity to eat some BEANS! I used to LOVE garbanzo beans in my salad, but they just don't stimulate my taste buds like they used to, so I don't add them. Another food I used to LOVE in my salad was a hard-boiled egg. Eh, now I don't bother. Maybe someday I'll go back to it, but for now, I don't eat 'em. When I did, I would boil 7 eggs, peel them and store them in a little water in a glass container or plastic baggie. They would go on the plate for chopping with the celery, snap peas and cuke, but no more.

-I indulge in Costco's Quinoa Salad from their deli, which I'm sure I could make at home, but the convenience and freshness of theirs makes it irrestistable to pick up a container each Monday when I shop. This is such a succulent, power-packed-with-flavor food!  I'll have this salad for an afternoon snack on most days:

100g Costco quinoa salad
60g bagged butter lettuce
15g bagged organic spinach
7g sunflower seeds (I do prefer the roasted & salted, so I indulge)
5g reduced sugar Craisins
35g Newman's Own Lite Balsamic salad dressing
(250 calories, 14g fat, 27g carb, 7g fiber, 8g protein)

-I'm totally into the bagged salad kits at my local Fred Meyer grocery store. Some are more calorie dense, so watch out, but eating a bag for dinner is just awesome! Sooo filling, lots of chewing required (there's usually fresh kale in these chopped salad bags) and very satisfying! When we are going to be gone all day, like on a weekend hike, I toss a bag in the cooler with my empty mixing bowl and a fork for a fantastic and filling meal.

-I NEVER (ever) guessed that I would enjoy the very same meal day after day after day, but I really do! 90% of the time, I do eat it out of obligation. Though I love it, my tendency is to seek out foods high in sugar, fat and salt! Having my salad prepared in the morning to be ready for my lunchtime hunger pangs, helps me make sure I actually EAT my salad per day! It has been a really good thing for my food lusty heart, to have the salad ready and waiting. IT IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO ENTER THE KITCHEN WHEN IT'S MEALTIME AND I'M HUNGRY AND GO THROUGH THE STEPS TO MAKE A SALAD! DO you hear me on that!? I recently discovered the mason jar salad craze and I fully support it! What a brilliant idea! Having that salad ready to go is a big help!

-I used to really enjoy some chicken breast on my salad. I thought I needed more protein and ate it on my salad every day. In the past year, I've realized I prefer my chicken separate! So sometimes it's on the side, sometimes I eat two chicken tenders for breakfast. Recently, I haven't been into chicken breast, but some sliced turkey I use on my family's sandwiches. I like that I can go with my cravings and not be afraid of the winds of change!

I think it's pretty weird that I can write this much about salad! But it goes to show me, that over three years, I've really become my own personal salad expert!

Friday, April 17, 2015

Weight Loss Mindset

license purchased from istock
I've looked back on some of my entries and can see how each little revelation builds on the previous ones...I think that's called growth!

My mindset right now:
-surrender (horse metaphor)
-horsey diet (under 1450) because in starter training-strict
-planning meals in morning on MFP, I know what's expected, helping me wait/delay
-power exercise from Losing Coach

I'm so grateful for this new mindset of surrender!

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Surrender

This morning's sun!

As 2014 ended, I didn't reset a new goal. I didn't know how to continue my blog since I really had planned to lose 100lbs last year, so I just stopped blogging.

The Lord has been doing so much inside me recently. It's hard to capture it all, but one thing I want to document here is that I no longer hate myself. In January, I started dreaming about gardening and owning a house again and this triggered some strong emotions in me. Over a couple months, I couldn't stop crying all.the.time. Looking back, I can see how the Lord brought me up out of my self-loathing. During that time, I discovered a book on low self-esteem and I look forward to going through it.

I had given up on blogging my weight loss journey. I knew I wasn't being serious. I was bumping along, slowly gaining back the weight, not being able to confine myself to any decent caloric limit. I decided to hire a weight loss coach and I'm going through Tune the Temple, too. I've been reading all sorts of weight loss books, searching for the inspiration I need. I had not found what I was looking for...until now.

Whoah.

Last week, my friend Marilyn (who is more of my mentor) was talking to me about my fear of the unknown, of the future. She mentioned that it had everything to do with surrender. Wow, a total shift happened in that moment. I started asking the Lord about it and how it related to my need for freedom. Long story short, He has brought me to a deeper place of surrender like never before.

The past five days have been awesome as I've limited myself. That's my whole big thing, limiting myself, surrendering myself instead of always pressing the boundaries and all the while thinking I am in freedom.

1421
1427
1445
1440
1440

Those are my numbers for the past few days. WOW. I didn't think it was even possible for me to do that again. It's been completely different and totally hard, but not totally agonizing. I've felt yucky everyday and I don't like the hungry feeling I feel in the late afternoon as I wait for dinner. I know there is some intensity to come, for now I'm clinging to the visual He gave me about corralling the wild horse. Maybe I'll post that testimony at some point.

For now, I want to document this important step in my journey. I'm full of hope for the near future and am eager to see how it works out.

(mindset notes: surrendered horse, planned each day before it happened, I knew what to eat each day, this isn't sustainable, but it certainly is appropriate for this season, will not cross the line He gave me of 1449 because I am surrendered, no longer do I want my own ways, freedom comes through surrender)

(meal notes: cherry walnut oats, my salad/2nd quinoa salad, dinner which has been...bag salad because I want to, any available calories, I put in a meat or candy)
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