Change in the Wind

Front of our new house

We've been through a lot waiting for our new house. We found it in January, made our offer in March and finally closed mid-September. We spent a month painting the entire interior of the new house, driving round-trip every single day at least once. We moved mid-October and I'm trying to start my life anew. It's been quite the saga, but that's not what I want to talk about today.

I am bored with what I'm doing and need to switch it up. I need to find exercise I really LOVE so that I'll do it for the rest of my life. It needs to be something that isn't just one dimensional. I'm experiencing a mindshift regarding my journey.

Even though I still am weighing myself, I'm really bored of posting Sunday Weigh Ins, so I'm going to put them on hold for now.

As we are getting settled, I feel like I have a (one) brain cell to explore new options. Some time ago, my friend Christi said the best thing I could do was in Tom Venuto's ebook. I purchased the "Burn the Fat" audiobook and I've checked it out from the library. I love his ideology. Stay tuned.

I Can Eat That

The latest...fried zucchini!

I go through spurts with blogging. I LOVE my blog. I love that it reminds me where I've been and helps keep me focused. That's why I started it way back in January of 2012. I think I tend to write more when things are going well. Things are going well. :)

I had a good week of struggling to get back under 1450. Failing provides me information and then my next step is always trying to solve the fail. Failing is simply more information to help me grow.

I'm really happy with my breakfast and lunch, but currently I fall apart around 3pm through dinner. This is the fail I need to work on right now.

I'm always surprised when my process takes a new direction. Right now, I'm getting bored with my bagged chipotle salad and spicy turkey chili. I'm still loving my breakfast (steel-cut oats) and lunch (my daily salad), I'm not connecting with anything delicious for the 3pm snack or dinner.

What to do?

So today I'm looking for some new (or old) ideas and also found a way to keep track of previous meals that I loved. Eating more beans is always a good idea, so I might bring back the crazy delicious Chicken Tender Taco Salad. I always love eating THAT!

I've been enjoying telling myself "I can eat that". My philosophy is I can eat whatever I want, I just need to stay within the confines of my calorie limit. I had Doritos for dinner the other night, they were delicious. I must admit, that was my first Doritos dinner and it might be my last. But I was glad that I can eat those!

Empowered by Conviction of Conscience

Last week in my backyard, my apple trees in full bloom!

I'm stunned. Today's scale was 200.8. I'm doing it. So why was it nearly impossible a few weeks ago and now I'm disciplining myself!? I've received conviction and I'm repenting of my old ways. I truly want to limit myself in many areas, but the Lord also has me surrendering my weight loss process at the same time.

I guess I can only say how grateful I am to my friends who were willing to tell me the truth about my excesses in life which precipitated a breakthrough to surrendering my whole life. At least wanting to be in the process of surrender and the Lord has met me there to help me.

The good Lord is empowering me with the metaphor about the wild horse. I want to not waste one opportunity.

I really have a nice system and it goes like this:
-wake
-make husband's breakfast & lunch, prepare my salad(s)
-eat my oats (don't horses eat oats, too!?!?) at the computer and then:
          -enter today's scale in MyFitnessPal
          -hit "complete" for previous day MyFitnessPal entry         
          -plan out my day's meals so I have my final calorie count before the day begins
          -fill in my info on my pen & paper sheet
          -walk

A note about MFP and planning my day. It's really quite simple to track with MFP, ESPECIALLY when I'm planning my day ahead! I have a life where I am at home a lot, so this works out fine for me...for now. I know this isn't where I want to land, I really see myself eating intuitively at some point, but it's okay to use these methods as I start my journey.  I used to believe a lie that if I wasn't doing something sustainable (like intuitive eating), it would never work and I shouldn't bother because it was too hard. But I can see now I had the wrong thinking.

It is APPROPRIATE to do these "unsustainable" things for a SEASON of training. How else am I going to grow, if I don't allow for this intense training period. What if it lasts a year? Or longer? Or shorter? The point is, this is actually WHAT I NEED and I've been circumventing entering into this period of surrender. THAT is what I've been afraid of...surrender. Not fear of the unknown, but fear of letting go of my own ideas, plans and ways.

It is good to be corralled! I have an immense sense of peace! The Lord has been guiding me day-by-day and I have no expectations for what I used to perceive as my "rights" about what I can eat. I submit to the process of training and surrender every day and it is really reaping good fruit!

So my days have looked like this:
-plan out what I'm going to eat (oats, my salad, my quinoa salad, a bag of salad for dinner with possibly a few peppermints for treats) I'm totally satisfied with this right now. I want things that are countable so I'm staying away for now for things that I'd have to guess on (the best I can). Each day brings something new, so it's good that I have to evaluate how that factors in. Today is an oats, salad, salad, salad day. I LOVE these foods and can't wait to eat them. If I decide I'd rather have a half sandwich or beans with cheese, I can totally swap out the bag of salad and enjoy something different. I eat what I love (in moderation)!

Family Vacation

I really enjoy vacationing with my extended family. Especially my four year old nephew! We stayed on 12 acres outside of town this year. It just so happens, the home was near a hike I've had on my bucket list for a few years! Thick with mosquitos, we did the hike and the destination was beautiful!

I decided for the four days of vacation, I wouldn't track myself. I did fine, though I know I ate more than 1300 calories per day! I didn't enjoy my "freedom" as much as I thought I would and was eager to get back to my real freedom of constraining myself and tracking. SO AMAZING that I actually like the constraints! I'm finally really experiencing the truth that discipline = freedom!